Some times people say the stupidest shit… I mean really really stupid, offensive, ignorant shit…. Shit that makes ya do a lot more than just go “Hmmm”. I’m talking about bigoted, judgmental, close minded, hypocritical shit that makes me wonder if I made it to the right planet, while my stomach clenches tight enough to produce a blood diamond in the blink of an eye…
When I find myself setting amongst the stench of said poo flinging, I often find my felt sense is very indicative of anger. Ya know, the kind that makes you want to smack some one? Or rip them to shreds with witty retort? The kind that produces rapid breath, pounding heart and volcanic heat that desperately seeks to escape my cranium like steam. In these split second moments, I do my best to bring myself back to peace.
Who do we know that imitates peace?
Yes! Quick! What would Mother Teresa do?? Compassion, she would have compassion…. Where is the compassion? Find the compassion…That’s how we get ourselves back to Love, Right? Yes. Compassion. That’s it.
Smile, dammit, SMILE! and keep your lips CLOSED , A.J.! Nod your head and smile A.J.
You know whats gonna happen if you do while your heart’s pounding like this…
As the blood trickles down the back of my throat, I remind myself that a little tongue biting never killed anyone. RIIIGHT??
Cooling breath, push the heat back down in to the Earth. Breath. Smile. Compassion…..
After trying this one out for the last few weeks, and consequently suffering physical consequences from the adrenal over stimulation and suppression…..I’m realizing…
I’m not Mother fucking Teresa. I may look up to her. I may admire her. Hell, I may even model my behaviour from her. But im NOT Her.
I’m a hairy-armpitted, tree-huggin, dirt-worshippin,strong-willed, big-mouthed, Awakened, pissed off Goddess! And just because my opinions, thoughts and feelings aren’t dripping with sweet understanding does not mean I should set by silenced like some god damned knot on a log. After all, how the hell are you going to know your being an out right, offensive dumb ass if no one tells you you are?! Honestly, it baffles me that in this day and age humans can actually still believe the political contortions (don’t even get me started on the story of Jeshua of Nazareth!), social conformist, sheeple, sexist,dis-empowering BULL SHIT. And better yet, continue to spew it. SOME ONES gotta tell them, RIGHT?
I mean, I get it. BE the change you wish to see. Lead by example.
But what if that’s not enough for these closed-minded, dim witts?
Ever hear that expression, “Dont mistake my kindness for weakness?” Some of these ass hats are so wrapped up in insecurity, that they don’t even have the perception to acknowledge kindness.
I was born a warrior. For lifetimes I have fought for the cause. I was kinda hoping that this one would be a little different. I guess I knew something as a 6 day old infant lying on that operating table. I took out of here 4 times. Heart stopped, breathing stopped. I went back up. I remember feeling (words are BASE in that vibration. Its FEELING that’s the accelerated form of communication) like “NO FUCKING WAY MAN! I’m NOT doing THAT AGAIN!” I had the distinct impression of 4 large, Angelic forms standing stoic and authoritative over my senses. It was like whack a mole. Or more like whack a soul.
Up, up up, ahhhh, that’s better…
Back down I went….FUCK!!!
Re-Enter the body.
Painful felt sense and flash of this Life’s mission.
What am I supposed to do with THIS?!
“No way man, I’m out! I’m not swimmin in this shit storm again.”
Back up, up up….WHACK!…
… 35 yrs later and I’m still working it out.
I have found a deep sense of compassion for humanity overall. I have also found a deep inner peace and Love for all Living things. Most of the time, it is easy for me to see the wounded child with in the adult who is acting out, who may not even realize how offensive their action or statement is…
Except for these shit flingin, monkey minded humans gummin up my fucking Eden.